I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
