its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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