no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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