You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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