I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
