her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize
