i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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