so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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