Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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