Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
