So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
