we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
