I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
My dad is sitting where you rode me
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
