Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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