'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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