im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I don't want my vagina anymore.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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