my vag is so smooth its legendary
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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