So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
