fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
apparently the secret to your success is patron
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
