doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
