There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
