ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
