Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Randomize
