great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
My bed smells like the plague
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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