yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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