I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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