The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
