Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
