you would pick up someone in the library
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
