Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
