You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
