Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
