She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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