your room smells of hookers.
And success
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize