you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize