Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
