dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
