like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize