8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
