we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
