Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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