Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize