not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
