i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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