It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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