i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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