so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
where are my eyebrows?
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