'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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