just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
