So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
