GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
