FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talked him into tasing himself.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I got inside last night via doggy door
You are the jesus of drinking
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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