You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
