Don't you send me to vm
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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