you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
