He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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