the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
