This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
